1/22/2016 | 0 comments | News
I have been here for years. If by here we mean the world wide web and not this blog or this domain specifically. I moved away from the blog for reasons that I can’t now remember and took to micro-blogging on Facebook and then Google+. And while I certainly have enjoyed the social aspects of those networks, I have missed the ability to really write, to do the brain dumps, the emotional word therapy that got me through much of the 2000s. I have also missed the creative outlet that coding and designing the blog (and sites) allowed. Granted, I don’t by any means harbor any grand delusions that I became a master coder or designer but it was fun to learn new coding tricks or to see something on the web that I had dreamt up and been able to give life to.
So, when Miss Bliss and Jules told me that they were reviving their blogs and asked if I wanted to join in on the fun, well, how could I say no?
It’s taken a little while to really get this back up and running, however. Being without a laptop (since March 2015) was a bit of a challenge and I had to get over the need to start over from scratch. To let go of the idea of bringing this back bigger, faster, stronger because, quite frankly, that sort of perfectionism is just the killer of dreams sometimes. So, I dusted off some old code, some old css (circa 2006, thank you very much) and here we are. I’m going to try and focus on the words for now. Maybe when I am able to get a nice shiny Mac again, I’ll shift some of the energy back to the coding, to tinkering with the behind the scenes stuff but for now this works. I have a box to type in, you have a place to comment if you wish. The rest will get sorted along the way.
So, thanks as always for reading. And let’s see what comes of it, shall we? I have stuff to say. Hopefully you’ll enjoy reading it again.
2/23/2006 | 0 comments | Dailies
Someone online asked for my philosophy on life the other day. Since then I’ve been trying to come up with a story or moment that would encompass the things I feel strongly about. Sadly I haven’t had any luck. So I decided to handle this in one of my favorites ways, by making a list. For those of you who aren’t list makers, you probably don’t get the appeal, but oh man, there’s something so satisfying about seeing things so neatly laid out. I don’t even care so much about coming back to check things off, which I know is a bit weird, but we’re all about weird here at Chez Pea.
So, without further ado, here are the things that I carry around in my heart:
- I believe that one should never hit a child
- I believe that it is never too cold for ice cream
- I believe that no one has a right to tell me what to do with my body
- I do not believe that Debra Messing is as funny or talented as Lucille Ball
- I believe that being a friend does not mean you turn a blind eye to a person’s flaws
- I believe that not everyone is meant to be a parent and that parenting skills can be acquired and improved upon
- I believe that books saved my sanity
- I believe that one can be spiritual and faithful without ever stepping foot in a church
- I believe people have a duty to speak up for children because they don’t have a voice
- I believe that Cadbury Mini Eggs are the best chocolate around
- I do not fear the blankness that follows death
- I believe that one should strive to be generous, forgiving and respectful, not for the promise of eternal salvation, but because it is the only way to live a peaceful, just, and loving life
- I believe that you’re either in a committed relationship or you’re not. There are no gray areas
- I believe that Coke is better than Pepsi
- I believe that we often complain about today’s misguided youth completely forgetting that we fail to give them the proper tools and guidance to help them become self-respecting individuals
- I believe two loving, consenting individuals, regardless of gender, should be allowed to make a commitment to each other, in any way they desire, without restrictions (Love is not a sin, damn it)
- I believe there is a purpose to my life
- I believe men and women complement each other and that no one gender is superior to the other
- I believe I have atrocious taste in music (80s dance mix anyone?)
- I believe that it’s better to be alone than in bad company
- I do not believe in soulmates though I do think there are people who meet your needs better than others, both in platonic and romantic relationships
- I think people who say money doesn’t matter have never been completely and utterly broke
- I believe children should always be told the truth (with consideration given for age, of course)
- I believe that cycles can be broken
- I believe that mayonnaise has to be the absolute worst condiment on the planet
- I believe that a little selfishness is called for now and again
I’m willing to bet I’ve missed some and I’m also willing to bet none of these will come as a shock to anyone. This isn’t really the way I wanted to answer the question, but it was interesting to see what made the list. Some are a bit on the fluffy side, but that makes them no less important. Now I think you should tell me some of your pickle convictions. (okay, so that’s only funny to me. let me refer you to #26 above)
*From a movie of course - The Truth About Cats and Dogs.
Of course. Now for the important question. Do you have a position on pickles?
It’s more of a deeply held belief.
Oh, really? A pickle conviction? Go ahead.
12/19/2005 | 0 comments | Dailies
My favorite kind of movies are romantic comedies. This puzzles me because after almost every romantic comedy I feel a little sad. “I’m not ever going to have that,” I think and feel. I feel it and think it with as much certainty as I can ever hold about anything in this world. How much easier it would be if I didn’t believe that there’s someone out there for everyone but if Carrot Top can get women to go out with him, then surely there is hope for me. Finding someone to go out with isn’t the problem; the real problem is that once having found that person, I no longer trust myself to feel.
It’s not perfection that I dream of and wish for, but just the everyday wonders and it’s those very things that I doubt I will ever possess. “It’s not in you,” I say to myself. Even as I embrace the words, as I feel them sink their teeth into my skin, I know that this isn’t entirely true for there are people I love in my life. Those loves, though, sometimes feel guarded and shallow, causing me to wonder if I really know what it means to love.
How can I be so certain of something I can’t name? “I’m lacking something,” I say to myself seconds before I once again dispute the assertion. It’s an over abundance of many things that is the problem. Fear, distrust; different sides of the same tarnished, battered coin. It’s a fact that people will hurt and disappoint you, just like they’ll fill you with joy and laughter. It’s just a matter of levels and degrees and how much one can handle. I fear I can’t handle much, the crystalline heart I carry in my chest tells me as much.
This is a weakness that shames me, that scares me and angers me. But above all, it depresses me because I don’t know how to cast it aside. It’s one of those things, one of those moments, I think, that can’t be over thought, that demands action and faith, and I am inertia personified.
“Your moment will come,” I say, in encouragement. That I still believe this is a testament to how deeply our ingrained ability to hope flows. Whether or not I’ll be ready to put the fears aside when those moments come is the real question.
