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[This is where the summary would go if I'd bothered to write one.]

« Week 140In Her Shoes »
Writober 05: Expectations

At my last job, on each evaluation, my supervisor noted that my “excellent” writing skills needed to be put to better use. Until my last year, I’d never written anything longer than a memo. Meeting minutes did not, in my opinion, count.

After a while I began to wonder what she was basing her opinion on. By the time I was given an article to write, I felt that the expectation for me to deliver a good, no, fantastic article was tremendous.

She never even read it. But that may be because I quit soon thereafter. Who’s to know?

In my new job, I had the audicity to completely rewrite a document my supervisor had drafted. She’d asked me to give it the once over and so I picked up the red pen and held it at the ready. Seconds later I realized that there wasn’t enough red ink in the cartridge to fix the problem. I scrapped her copy, opened up MS Word and began typing. When I handed her my version, she cringed, embarrassed.

A bad move on my part perhaps. Except now anything she writes she passes by me, if she hasn’t already asked me to draft it.

I’m not sure where this is going except, I find it curious that at work I feel so in control of the words, so sure of the placement of each letter.

And yet at home, oh at home—

— in the comfort of my own space, with only my eyes to bear witness, the words refuse to flow. I stare at the blank page, waiting for what I’m not sure. When that mysterious thing finally does arrive, I hope it knocks me on my ass because I no longer trust myself to recognize it.

Published 10/10/05 in Writing • Writober • | Views: 1867 times | Print

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