Play Nice

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Thanks,
Patricia

Briefly

[This is where the summary would go if I'd bothered to write one.]

« Week 104Relieved »
Leaving

The mask you wear, it isn’t for me? I’ve long thought it was.  Did you believe me to be so oblivious that I would not see it, sense it, take pleasure in it? This surprises you I see. I thought it might. I enjoy that I still surprise you after all these years. It’s hard after one has been so intimate with another to keep a secret or two up one’s sleeve.

Except for you of course. You with the mask, the mask that I’m now finding out isn’t for me. I had hoped that the mysteries that lie behind you eyes, those still moments when you disconnected your heart from mine, would one day be revealed, would—in effect—surprise me. I’ve been looking forward to that for so long. Sometimes, as the sun rose and impertinently entered our room I would watch your face, the serene set of your brow and wonder if today would be the day that you would unvel yourself to me. I was always torn between wanting to know and wanting to prolong the sweet agony of the unknown.

But now, here you sit, telling me it was for someone else. That surprise I did not expect. I should be happy I suppose that the mask isn’t for yourself. I’ve always thought that it would be such a pity to not know oneself. Can there be a more distressing thing I wonder?

When will you leave? Surely you mean to leave? No, you must leave. Of this I’m quite sure. I don’t wish to be overly dramatic dear but with a revelation such as this you leave us with very few choices. And I’m afraid that I’m not strong enough for many of them. You always said I was only good for one path and one path only. You laugh at me. Yes, you do. I see the way your lips are pulling themselves up, like a plant who’s been too long in the shade reaching for a ray of light. Strangely enough I don’t mind the laughter. It’s a fitting way to end this charade, don’t you think?

Well no. Believe that you planned it all this way? Now that I can’t believe. It’s a happy coincidence for sure. You wanting to leave and me being ready for it. Maybe deep down, all these years, I knew it would come to this. Though I think that’s a bit too fanciful even for me. But I can tell you this, the agony—sweet as it may have been, will not be missed.

[22]

Published 02/01/05 in Writing • | Views: 1838 times | Print

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